Girl Clown with Chicken

I made this painting in February 2012 and today it's ready for a new home.

When I painted it, we had just moved to Georgia and were staying in an extended stay hotel in Norcross, while  looking for a new house.

I had just had a solo show in Philadelphia, showing my clown paintings:

Photos from that show can be seen here:
https://www.facebook.com/donnalograsso/media_set?set=a.10150299394157070.360106.675432069&type=3

 

...And even after my show, I was still obsessing over them
(usually, for me, you move on, having a show feels like closure of a body of work...but I wasn't finished). 

I've been drawn to clowns for a while. I have a different idea of what a clown stands for than most. I understand the fear of clowns, that fear people have also intrigues me.

(I'm not talking about evil looking clowns, just your average every day, kids party guy dressed in a clown suit.)
 
This excerpt is on my much needed-to-be-updated website, thought I'd share it here, since I'm thinking and talking about them again...

Clowns are considered "Fools".

I've read that the character of the fool is an essential ingredient of human society, sad no? I suppose it's because we all have an inner fool, the child we once were that society doesn't allow us to express, or criticizes us if it slips out.

The "Fool" is the part of us that has never grown up, the part that only wants to play, be completely free of responsibility. I remember those days, and often am overwhelmed by what adulthood has brought to my life. Do you remember having so much time in a day that you would lay around on the living room floor making silly faces and sounds, or doodling, or just goofing around...and I'm talking about that daily big chunk of time that seemed to last forever, where you actually thought the day was endless? Where you wandered the streets or the woods with your friends with no concept of time or a place you NEEDED to be?

It also seems to me, that the clown takes everything literally and personally, questioning everything...and unfortunately, this I can relate to. The clown wears his heart on its sleeve...again I can relate. The clown has the best of intentions (I'm not talking about the evil ones), again...I feel a connection. Clowns have no thought of failure, they leap naively into danger (think of the circus or rodeo- they jump into and from burning buildings, squeeze into tiny cars, wooden barrels that might get thrown by a bull, etc). The clown gets knocked down over and over again, and always gets up and tries again. Clowns in this sense are an embodiment of hope.

(Above) The girl clown and chicken are clearly friends! :-)

Being back in Georgia, I was remembering when we last lived here (when Beaux was 7 months old).
At that time I was painting chickens. So Georgia made me think of chickens. Weird I know. My draw to the chicken has some symbolic connections too (which I'll save for a future post). :-)

I had also been thinking a lot about sustainability at that time. The internet was flooded with stories about the endangerment of bees, and it was the first time I had ever really considered what it would mean to live off your own means
(shallow and singular existence up until then...maybe).

The thought of being self sufficient intrigued me!
I couldn't do it 100%, and we have yet to even begin planning our own gardens, but Ben and I talk all the time about things we can do to be a bit greener. We'd like solar panels, rain barrels, and lots of vegetable gardens. Chickens...check! :-) 

Georgia also reminded me of sea jellies.
The Georgia Aquarium was the first place I had ever seen them in person. I was captivated, must have taken 1000 photographs in one visit. My work, while teaching in Auburn, always included them. There is a beautiful danger surrounding sea jellies, a mystery, and I was drawn to that mystery and beauty. I feel they have a feminine quality as well, with a powerful quiet strength. They move with effortless freedom, and let's face it, if you know me and Ben, at this point in our lives we were movers!
In Feb, 2012, we had a freshly turned 6 year old, who had lived in 6 places, he too moved with an effortless motion...always impressing us with his joy and security no matter where he was. He still tells us how living in the hotel was the best and he wants to vacation there. :-)

I had more to say...had to add a second canvas:

There were days that I was less than excited to stay in the extended stay hotel, I wished for our own space. We had Duck (the cat) with us...and we often talked about how great owning a camper would be, we could have her with us at all times and we could just pick up and travel the country. We day dreamed often of that life style. But this talk took a back seat to a greater desire we shared, wanting a permanent home.

Even though he was fine, we had guilt for moving Beaux around so much. Lots of times the things we do for our children are really for ourselves, and the child we used to be. I moved around a ton when I was little, and Ben always felt split between two parents/ houses/ states...so stability for Beaux was something WE wanted for him...still do, even though I know that stability comes from us, not our house. I think more-so, Ben and I NEED this house, not Beaux. But...he'll have to cope with his parents issues. ;-)
 
I added a banister for a stair case to symbolize this (all this psychological house baggage we have). Green as it goes up and into the future and red/orange to symbolize that down, or looking back or living in the past, or thinking of past mistakes is dangerous territory....I LOVE symbolism. :-), funny that the house we chose has no stair railings.  I also think of the holiday candies as a stand in for the feelings we have towards family and holiday traditions. The memories you make, the big childhood moments, all the "sweet" stuff.
:-)

I was also worried about making new friends for all of us, as well as sad to leave friends behind in Philadelphia - So along with the sweet are images of candy on paper that may blow away, fade...to represent a loss, and the losses we feel of those who can't be close during those big moments in life.
I think a lot of what I added at the top of this post about clowns relates well to how I was feeling when I painted this.

_______________________________

So the main idea of this painting I suppose if I had to sum up simply would be that I believe/ hope that it encompasses all the feelings I was having towards life, motherhood, the environment, our own and the world, along with the fears and the pleasures of being a parent / human, moving to a new place, moving forward in life, new experiences...and most of all hope for a good healthy ride!
 
Of course now it's new owners can place their own ideas and feelings on it. I just thought I'd share what I was thinking.
:-)

Framed out with simple lattice, just need to sand the edges and touch up the nail heads.

Ready for pick up!
:-)

I'm so excited that it will live in a house with people I like so much!

In need of a real studio

One of the draws to buying this house, (aside from the price, view and access to the lake, light, big open rooms, etc)...was the future hope of having a real studio!

Ben and I were talking all weekend about what we need to do in order to make the garage into a studio...and according to my never ending optimistically encouraging husband..."not much"!
(Keep in mind that Ben's "Not much" and the rest of the world's idea of  "Not much" (including my own) is drastically different!)
LOL

But when I think of all he has already accomplished with the house...well...go man, go!

____________________________

This is the detached garage that sits half way up the hill, of our back property:

It's a pretty big space...
22x32 feet, 704 sq feet! (without the loft)


(Picture from when we first looked at the house in January of 2012)

 

With a big loft space up top, that Ben can stand in (in the center that is, a space he would like for a shop for himself).

We have two french glass doors with two long windows for either side that we'd like to put here instead of this door (above) and Ben has found a bunch of free windows!
A wall of windows would be amazing...this is the view in the winter (below).
There are a few slivers of lake that can be seen during the rest of the year, but mostly just green!

But first we have to deal with all the stuff, I should help some how right?!?
(pictures below of it's scary current state)

-Which is where I come in - I am going to be going through the "stuff" and sell what I can on Craigslist and Facebook, decide what we need and Goodwill the rest.

I know this is a huge project...but this has to happen!
OK, It doesn't HAVE to happen, but we would be a very happy, productive and even more creative family with this big space going to better use! 
:-)

When we first moved in and said, "Let's just start storing stuff in here for now..."

And what has happened a year and a half later!

Well, that's embarrassing, isn't it? :-)

So if you see me around, and I look like crap, don't talk much, and don't seem to be acting in any way close to normal...You will understand why.

But, in a desire to be more like Ben...
Stay tuned...It's gonna happen! :-)

...Eventually and if I don't die first!

Changes in attitude don't happen that quickly...baby steps...
LOL
 

Colors and Kitties

I still haven't made it to Utrecht, so I am improvising.
I made a nice rich black from Char-Kole.

And a pretty blue from Conte Crayons (which isn't the most cost effective way to make color. These sticks are NOT cheap, and dry pigment is less expensive in bulk).
...But I was in the mood to paint, so I went ahead and used what I had, but don't think that I didn't feel wrong for it the whole time. LOL

Then I wanted a different green, so I tried Parsley. :-)

I had some help:

It made a very nice color, especially when I added just a little bit of yellow.

A jumping kitty!!
(added below)
:-)
The usual happenings in my house -  right when I feel my most crazed, the animals decide that is the best time to go berserk, like they know you can't take one more thing...and they wanna see how you'll react. 

This might not be the reality of it, but all the cute cat post memes on FB and Pinterest have me believing that my cat is analyzing and judging me.
And if you’ve met Duck, you know she is!
LOL

And while I got some time to paint, my mini me was working on his:

:-)