The Ugly Stage

There always comes a point in my paintings where I realize that I'm being boring! 

I begin by selectively laying in parts of the story, I look at it one moment and go from happily building to total disgust of my lameness within seconds.
 

 The boring-ness, all nice and safe, and careful...well, as careful as I get. I do realize this is loose for others. :-)

-Blocking or laying in some color, swooshes over stuff, in the white areas, where I still know I need to draw, probably should happen closer to the beginning.

I'm still being hesitant in this picture below...only a few swooshes, cautious of the egg tempera.
How does it swoosh? It blends a bit, not as good of a swoosh as acrylic. 

I know more of this, lets call it "disgusted-in-myself energy," will happen throughout the piece. These are the ugly stages.  

They excite me!

The ugly stage makes you work harder...you obsess until you get past it. Then hope for the next ugly stage...when you will obsess again.
:-)
The ugly stage gives me something to react to.

These pictures might not be the best examples, as I said, I was hesitant...and I also went back over the swooshes pretty quickly to gain back some of the pattern/imagery.

My hesitation here, my caution also bothers me!
Why am I being such a wimp today?!
(Those of you reading this, who are not artists, are getting a good glimpse into the crazy aren't you? LOL )

I'm also trying to mix the pigments...that blue is hideous! It's hard without red, and only a few basic colors.

Need more pigments.
:-)

Space and laziness

I've been thinking about something that has been bothering me about my work...

I instinctively like to have everything up front and on the surface. I lack depth...
-not conceptually, (not personally, LOL), but spatially...my work is flat!

 I was looking at where I was headed with this piece and got annoyed with myself...once again....FLAT!

So I thought....The one thing that brings me peace in my frazzle is the nature around us.  

Nature has always been a good place/thing for my head to be filled with, even more so now than when I was younger. Or maybe I'm just more aware of what I need!
Ahhh...the whole with age comes wisdom bit!
The plus side to getting wrinkles.

Since I'm painting MY world (with liberties)
(I know, very self centered of me)...this element seems to be the right fit!

Back to the issue of me being a lazy painter...
I can feel it, and I'm aware that I want to lay stuff in and be done. This is SO not going to be possible with egg tempera. I have started laying in the lake and our front steps (which lead to our house)...and it's flat.
Word... and the bane of my existence for the day...Flatness!

Yes, I know...I'm feeling very dramatic today. LOL

The paint and the panic

I knew the panic would set in at some point.
I just didn't think it would be so close to the start....

 I wasn't finished with the drawing but felt anxious to get painting...so I began by mixing the dry pigment with the egg yolk and distilled water, straight...no mixing of colors -just to see how egg tempera felt, moved, laid.

First thought...Is this worth it?
This is a lot of work, and a huge mess!

Then that haunting voice in my head, "Don't be lazy....Make the effort, you are supposed to be learning something new. Grow why don't you!"

I decided cups were the way to go, and NOT my glass pallet. I realized that unlike doing fresco, I didn't need the muller to blend the pigment, the brush was enough to "stir" it together.

 I have NEVER been a very neat and tidy artist, which is surprising for someone with a printmaking degree...but messy comes naturally! :-)

The white looks yellow, from the yolk. But once laid on the painting, it was white enough. :-)

But!!!!!!!! I didn't buy any red pigment, the closest I had was this burnt umber. Being me and extremely impatient, I started painting anyway...yes the part that should be RED! I know, I know...but I did. I know I will have to go over it, but that's ok, this is just a test...

I like it! A lot, and yet I don't. 
It does blend really nicely on the panel. That was a big plus!

-Everything I read said it wouldn't, or at least that I would have to cross hatch to blend layers and layers. (Not a huge fan of cross hatching...I know it has it's place, but I wasn't excited about cross hatching an entire 4 x 5 ft painting).

I could easily see how the layers effected one another, and had a very "oily" quality about them, but the paint dries so fast that it's a lot like acrylic (well, more gouache actually - flat, and a bit dull - con!).
I can see why the great masters applied oil on top of egg tempera, and I suppose I might too, the dull isn't pretty, isn't powerful, isn't special. 

Sorry Steve....but your yolk isn't as illuminating as I had hoped! (Probably because I haven't layered the paint...)

:-)

Layering of paint is NOT how I normally work. I'm an out of the tube and quick to make a mark type...this is definitely going to slow me down and make me think while I paint....I wonder how that's going to work out???
:-)

Ironing - Stage 1

I started the drawing of what will be my first egg tempera painting. 

The idea of domestic chickens who are more modern with a 50's feel...is hard when there isn't much skin showing (to add tattoos). 

She's gonna need to get a bit racy and unbutton a few of those. LOL ;-)

My idea is to explore my life, and all its mundane, crazy, exhausting fun and not so fun daily happenings...and how I feel about them. I wish I was one of those artists who had a profound statement on how to help the world...what I have is the desire and ability to help one child. My child. After a few months of feeling like crud for not having a new direction, I realized that the last painting I started (Reclining Poultry) WAS a hint at a direction. Having a new idea/drive is so exciting! 

The green is Conte, I haven't started painting yet.
But soon....


 

Egg Tempera

 

Something new for me.....

 

Having 5 chickens, who each lay an egg a day...leaves us with a lot of eggs!

My newest body of work is about the domestic life (MY domestic life, and being a SAH-homeschooling Mom).
Since I am planning on using chickens instead of my own image...I thought it would be a neat idea to use our hens eggs to make the paint!

 

There were some preparations that I had to do before I began.
Gathering my dry pigments and other supplies: 

No canvas, has to be on panel (which I love, because I prefer the hard panel surface and it's less expensive to make).
And you need to use a traditional gesso...that means combining the marble dust, and rabbit skin glue in a double boiler.
 

I'm ready!!
:-)

From Chickens to Clowns and back again....

When Beaux was born I started painting chickens. I wasn't set out to make profound deep art, I just needed to paint, and chose chickens.

Then as Beaux got older, I was able to focus on my work on a deeper level.
And for many reasons I chose Clowns as my inspiration.

You can read more on the WHY here, that is until I update my website! :-)

http://www.donnalograsso.com/

Then appeared  - clowns WITH chickens...
:-)

OK yes, I've simplified my progression a bit...but that's pretty much it. Now, I am exploring the chicken as a stand in for myself...with a new body of work. I struggled with finding something meaningful to paint. I need to be excited about a direction, a path of self exploration, I like story telling -it helps motivated me. When I paint "anything" - just for the fun of it - it seems amateur, undirected, not deep, and not valuable.

I tend to move towards house renovations when that happens, but now I'm excited to have a new focus! This is the best feeling and has me on a major up swing! :-)

When I don't have the excitement of new ideas floating around my head, everyone around me suffers. :-) If I can't feel strongly about what to paint, I don't. Usually house ideas take over until something gives. I clean, make a plan for a wall to be where one wasn't, etc..

Then it hit me...that IS me and IS the subject I needed to explore. Beaux is 7 and a half now, I should be able to do this...well!

I'm also keeping fresh in my mind (frankly because it's been haunting me for 2 years now) -a comment my graduate professor said at my last show (my clowns). He told me that (all but one of the works) seemed lazy. Damn it and yay for honest professors. He was right. I usually paint with the thought of "I'll get back to that section" in the back of my mind. Then once I feel done, I never go back and fix, tighten, improve on those areas. I become satisfied in the whole and forget the things I felt were lacking in the parts.

Going to try to see if I can be less ADD in my art.

"Me" Book _ Body Maps

I have been thinking that it's time to update my website. I Googled myself and came across a few things from the past, things that make me want to do more.

http://store.uspacegallery.com/donnalograsso.html

Above is a link to a show I was in a few years ago. The show was accompanied by a printed book -which I was disappointed in. The images of my work were poor (not offered by me, but apparently an in house photographer). While I was grateful to be part of the experience, it would have been nice for the images to be more important than my description of them. Emphasis seemed to be on my words instead of my art. I prefer for the work to stand alone.

Here are better shots of the book (without my description of each page):

Charcoal, Conte Crayon, Screenprint, Intaglio, Acrylic, Wax, Ink